Hello 2017! Thinking of making new year’s resolutions? How about something new? Ditch the resolutions and start with a new perspective. I have found the most significant changes take place when we first identify the negative thought patterns that are ruling our lives. We do so by looking through past experiences to find where we have allowed our misconceptions to guide decisions about our futures, rather than allowing our intuition or heart to lead.
For example, I had a friend—let’s call her Julie—who is a corporate professional in her early 30s. Julie felt she was living a life she would never have chosen for herself, so she booked six months of coaching with me. She told me that her dream in junior high had been to start her own online company, fall in love, and create a family—none of which were descriptive of her current life. Instead, she had a job she didn’t enjoy that stressed her out, had attracted a stream of undesirable men, and still wanted to become a mother for the first time.
She kept telling herself that with time her life would develop into the one she dreamed of, but deep down, she didn’t believe it. Rather, she felt she’d wasted time pursuing avenues in her life that she didn’t care about, and looking back, couldn’t understand why she was “living a life I would not have picked.”
So we got to the heart of the matter. When she was ready to take an honest look at her life and thought patterns, we identified that the one constant was her own mistrust of her intuition. She would think, “I can’t trust myself,” and rather than choosing the option that might make her subconsciously happier, she handed the reigns over to her conscious brain. As we continued to examine each choice that had led her to where she is today, she realized that while her mind wanted to rebuff her decisions, her heart was ready to accept and love her life.
Julie’s experience was a beautiful illustration of the power that we hold over our lives. We are all presented with choices. In order to select the best option—which is especially difficult when there is often no clear right or wrong—we need to attune ourselves to our subconscious desires. Only then can we make an empowering choice. When Julie understood this, she finally came to terms with the fact that she could trust her own heart’s desires, her intuition, without being judgemental towards herself. This new, positive thought pattern, one that said, “My decisions will lead me where I need to be,” replaced her old, negative thought pattern: “I can’t trust myself,” and with it came a new optimism for her life.
What negative thought patterns are you allowing to rule your life? Start identifying them by finding a quiet spot in nature where you can listen to your own self talk. You may find that your inner dialogue is a harsh critic, and it takes time and patience to unravel years’ worth of thought patterns that have built up within us. Start small—decide what you’re going to eat for dinner tonight and don’t second guess or criticize your choice.
Over time, you can graduate to bigger choices involving your career, goals, and relationships.
If you’re ready to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, shoot me an email at [email protected]—I’d be honored to kickstart your journey to a happy and healthy 2017!
