Are you aware of why are you attracting certain people into your life? What are the people in your life there to show you?
A friend of mine has been struggling with her boss at work. She works in a corporate office and is extremely efficient and effective in her job. Her workload is continually larger than her colleagues and she often feels overwhelmed Monday through Friday. The weekend barely provides the time to restore her energy before the workweek starts again. One day she expressed to me that she was angry at her boss. Her boss does not communicate, had no idea how much work he continued to pile on her, and she was the only one on the team that did not complain.
As I listened to her heart full of fatigue and frustration, I said, “What if your boss is reflecting a part of you? What if this is an opportunity for change?” She sat there for a minute and then said, “What do you mean?” I said, “What would it be like for you to speak to your boss to let him know what projects are on your plate and work together to establish a workload that is more manageable?” She again sat there for a minute and said, “I tried. He constantly forgets.” My intuition was that he was “forgetting” for a purpose. Her boss was a reflection for her to see her desire to communicate her truth. If she didn’t, it wouldn’t matter who her boss was because she would continue to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I said, “Ok. Have you tried a weekly email to update him on your projects and the amount of time necessary for completion?” She immediately began to feel hopeful and said, “No, but I will try it this week!”
She implemented the plan the following Monday and as the weeks went by, she noticed her relationship with her boss changing. She found that the weekly emails not only informed her boss of her workload, but also helped to keep the communication lines open. When new projects arrived, her boss would ask her if she could take on the project and if not, he would assign to another team member. She began to feel a newfound sense of power and happiness in her work. I met up with her a few months later and she was full of energy and gratitude. She was grateful for her boss reflecting a part of her that she had been ignoring and for their now harmonious relationship. What an amazing shift in perspective!
Take some time this month of July to enjoy the summer fun with your family, friends, coworkers and significant others. If you notice yourself angry or frustrated, take a moment to turn your observation about that person onto yourself. What are the people in your life showing you?